Identity is who we think we are. It is formed by many different facets. Family, society, culture, personal interest and our surrounding can help shape and mould our identity. Some may have a significant effect while others might not influence us in our journey of understanding ourself. Each person's identity is unique and individualistic due to the many differences in upbringing and experiences that can either help built our identity, or destroy the ones we have. Identity is formed when we have dreams to follow and aspirations to achieve. They are formed when we really look within ourselves to learn who we really are instead of depending on others that might cause us to lose our identity and suppress who we really are. Hence, it is false to say that individual identity is formed only by how one relates to others, either our family and close ones or the community as there are many other factors that plays a role in establishing our identity. However, there are exceptions when one was able to establish their identity by how they relate to others. These can be seen in the text that have been studied.
Firstly, an individual identity is formed when one has a strong will to achieve his or her dreams and aspiration. Their identity is not affected by those around them or the circumstances that they are going through. However, the journey of finding their true identity comes with a cost as they do not conform to the expectations that are put on them by their family and the society. This can be seen in the case of Vincent from the movie, Gattaca. Though Vincent is a faith-born child with poor genetic makeup, he did not gave up his dream of being a space navigator. Instead of succumbing to social laws and the stigma of being an invalid, he rose above it all. He even personate Jerome, a valid, in order to work in the space exploration center. His identity is not formed by how he relates to others such as his family and the community as they gave little to no support in every form, be it emotionally or physically. His dream of going to space and his passion for it was the thing that build his individual identity as he neither identifies himself as an invalid due to his fueling passion and determination, nor as a valid due to his genetic constitution. Similarly, Diana, from the short story, "Five Ways to Disappoint Your Vietnamese Mother", faced the same rejection that Vincent went through when she decided to pursue a career in acting. Her aspiration to be an actor is in conflict with her mother's Asian ideology of wanting their children to have a professional career such as being a doctor. This empowered her to find her individual identity based on the goals and aspiration she has. Thus, it can be clearly seen that individual identity is formed by one's dreams and aspiration that one have.
Apart from that, individual identity can only be found when one learn to accept themselves as who they are and not who they belong too. This is because, when we learn to accept our weakness and strength and not compromise the principles and values that we uphold, we don not have to suppress who we really are. In the novel, The Kite Runner by Khaleed Hosseini, Amir only found his individual identity when he stop trying to be Baba's ideal son. When Amir tries to validate himself to gain his father's approval and affection, he compromises his conscience and did not prevent Hassan from being rape. He tried to hide his identity as someone who loves literature and put on a facade in order to please his father. In the end, his identity is formed when he accepts that he will always be a coward and started working on his talent in writing. He became a successful writer and even redeemed himself by saving Sohrab. Besides, Sandra Laing from the movie, Skin also found her true identity when she gave up trying to belong in the white and colored community. She was rejected by the white society due to her appearance and did not fully belong to the colored community due to her upbringing and her sense of belonging to her family. Petrus violent behavior further pushed her away and she learned to accept who she is and not depend on the relationships that she has. Sandra was able to be an independent woman when she accepts that she will never truly to anyone but finds her sense of self and identity within herself. Hence, both Amir and Sandra's identity is moulded and formed only when they learn to accept themselves.
Even though it is said that individual identity is formed by other factors that are stated above, our relationship and interaction with others can also affect our identity. A Zulu proverb states that a person is a person through other people. When we were born, our identity is not fully formed. We learn to walk, act and talk based on our observation on how society and the people around us behave. Mala, from the short story, "The Third and Final Continent", is the perfect example to demonstrate how a relationship with someone can help build our identity as a person. When Mala first moved to the United States to e with her husband, she was sad and wept. She sacrificed her life in India and her family in order to take on her new role as a wife. Unlike Mrs. Sen who cannot establish an identity in a new country, Mala managed to adapt to the foreign culture and land with minor hiccups. This is mostly due to the narrator's kind and caring attitude towards her. He does not force Mala to abide to traditional custom such as wearing a headpiece. Mala's identity is inextricably linked ot her relationship with the narrator which helps her identity herself as an American. In the short story, "Wei-Lei and Me", Aditi also developed an identity through her association with Wei-Lei, a migrant from China. Their bond is formed from mutual exclusion as both of them faced bully and discrimination. They were teased, kicked and ridiculed due to their appearance. The assurance that she is not alone, helps Aditi to overcome her timidity and she learned to stand up for herself. Besides, the acceptance of her heritage and culture by Wei-Lei gave her confidence in her identity as an Indian. Eventually, both Wei-Lei and Aditi managed to identify themselves as Australians when they grow up. Therefore, individual identity is formed by how one relates to others as the people we associate with can build our sense of belonging towards them and develop our identity as a person.
In conclusion, individual identity is formed by our relationship and interaction with others as the people we know may be a catalyst in our understanding of oneself and help solve the pieces of puzzle in discovering who we really are. However, individual identity can also be established by the dreams and aspiration we have as it impels us to strive harder to achieve our goals and justify the way we act. Apart from that, individual identity is built only when we accept and learn who we really are as our true identity lies within ourselves. Thus, it is wrong to say that individual identity is formed solely based on how we relate to others as there are other factors that contribute to the establishment of our identity.
